By
Dominic Horton
I
work for a mental health charity, Rethink Mental Illness. Due to the
work of Rethink, and other like organisations, the stigma and
misconceptions about mental illness have reduced in recent times.
Although there is still a lot of work to do, people are better
educated about mental illness and more accepting of those who have
mental health issues. The subject of mental illness is becoming less
scary. And people will more readily talk about it.
It
is often said that people can be less willing to talk about or engage
with information about mental illness than that of physical
illnesses. But there is still one physical illness that can be a
taboo subject, that strikes fear into the minds of people. To such a
degree that they shy away from learning about it or talking about it
to others, even those that have experienced the condition.
This
is the case even though nearly all of us will either get this
condition or know someone who has experienced it. Just the mere
mention of the name of the condition in question can lead people to
turn over the TV or radio station or skip past a newspaper article. I
didn’t even want to use the word in the title of this piece for
fear it might turn people away. The word is one which even has
negative connotations in our language beyond its original meaning.
The word is short but powerful, to some even shocking. The word is
cancer.
I
hope you continue reading.
*
* * * *
Keith
Tandy is a friend of mine and he’s a youthful 70 years of age. He
has a certain sense of style and always dresses younger than his
years, but in a dignified, tasteful way. Keith can be quick with a
witty, cutting quip when you meet him in our local pub. But he's a
warm, kind and friendly individual. He exudes, more than anything,
love.
Keith with his sister Ann and his son Luke |
Keith
recently ended intensive treatment for cancer. I spoke to him as I
wanted to learn more about his experiences of the illness. Like many
people with health issues Keith's experience was not straightforward.
He was first diagnosed with skin cancer that affected his head. But
soon after he was separately diagnosed with mantel cell
non-Hodgkin lymphoma. There was no evidence of any link between the
two conditions.
Keith
accidentally banged his head which lead to a blister that
wouldn't heal. He was told after tests that it was skin cancer. But
this didn't come as too much of a surprise to Keith as he used to be
a lorry driver. This meant that the right side of his head
particularly was often exposed to sunlight. Although the diagnosis of
skin cancer wasn't a massive shock to Keith, the way the news was
delivered could have been better.
The specialist said to a nurse, without addressing Keith, “It's
cancer.” The words were audible to Keith though. He had a similar
experience when he was later diagnosed with mantel cell non-Hodgkin
lymphoma.
Keith's
skin cancer was successfully treated. But soon after he developed
severe diarrhea resulting in a loss of weight of two stones in
only two weeks. Originally it was thought Keith had contracted
norovirus. But the GP found lumps in Keith's glands and so referred
him to a specialist for tests. The weight loss meant the lumps were
clearly evident.
After
a blood test proved inconclusive a biopsy was done and then came
one of the most difficult times – waiting for the results. But
Keith said it was worse for his family than for him. Especially as
the severe diarrhea that Keith experienced had by then subsided
and his weight began to stabilise.
Keith
was eventually called to see a specialist consultant who he saw with
his son Luke and his daughter Bekki. To begin with a more junior
doctor told Keith that he had 'mantel cell'. She didn't use the word
cancer or explain more about what mantel cell meant but said she'd
get the consultant. With Keith and his family not knowing what mantel
cell is, Bekki naturally researched it on her mobile phone while
waiting. Which is not an ideal way to learn about a serious health
condition.
Keith in hospital with his daughter Bekki |
But
the consultant made it clear to Keith what condition he had and the
way forward: “You have mantel cell non-Hodgkin lymphoma. You have a
serious illness, it's cancer. It is not curable but it is treatable.
Do you understand what I am saying?” The consultant explained that
to begin with Keith would receive six treatments of strong
chemotherapy in twenty one days. He also explained that it was a
close decision whether to treat Keith at all as he has angina and was
69 years old at the time – the cut of age for the treatment is 70.
But Keith was considered fit enough to undergo the treatment.
But
Keith immediately saw the positive in the consultant's words. He
explained: “The words that registered with me when the doctor was
telling me was 'it is treatable'. There are two 'T's' with cancer
diagnoses - terminal and treatable.”
Keith's
family were obviously upset by the news but they were very
supportive. But even at this early stage Keith had a plan with how to
deal with the situation: “I told my children and my family that for
the rest of the year I would be concentrating on my treatment and
getting better. I said that if they had problems or issues they would
need to sort them out among themselves. I had a goal too – to see
my grandchildren grow up.” This strategy of looking forward, being
organised and setting goals ultimately played a big part in Keith's
recovery.
Keith
explained that he had to think carefully about what to say when it
came to telling the news of his diagnosis to his sister Ann: “Ann
is 10 years older than me. She's from a generation where they still
whisper the word cancer. My parents and older brother were the same.”
Keith was concerned that Ann would immediately think the worst about
his outcome. And he was worried about the effect that would have on
her.
Ann was
so terrified of what cancer meant to her that she wouldn't visit
Keith in hospital. But she did care about his welfare and called him
every day. But Keith explained, “She was convinced I was not
telling her everything – she still is now.” Keith thinks this is
because Ann and people from her generation automatically equate
cancer with death: “That's how it used to be.”
After
being diagnosed Keith went through seven months of treatment. This
started with the six strong chemotherapy sessions under the care of
his consultant, nurses and other staff who were “absolutely
fantastic.”
Feeling
in control of what was going on was important to Keith in his
recovery. He wrote everything down, the medication he’d taken, the
food and fluid he’d had. This not only made the nurses' job easier,
for which they were grateful, but also meant Keith was playing an
active part in his recovery. He planned his own medication intake –
instead of taking all 14 tablets in the morning he spaced them out
throughout the day, keeping a careful record.
Keith
valued making his own decisions and choices about his treatment. He
was encouraged to inject himself at times and to take eye drops, as
the treatment generally dries people’s eyes up. But Keith decided
against both of these things: “I usually have watery eyes anyway
and the eye drops made it worse.”
Having
a set routine also helped Keith to feel in control of his days when
in hospital. He was up at 6am and showered by 6.30. And then he
dressed properly, opting to stay out of his pajamas and dressing
gown. Keith would go downstairs to get a newspaper and to walk around
as much as he could. This all gave Keith a greater sense of
normality.
Keith back in the day, pint in hand |
But
Keith's routine was disrupted when his treatment meant at times that
he had to be in isolation, because his immune system was down. This
meant that he had to use other ways of coping. Keith has a lifelong
passion for music and he used to work in the industry as a roadie in
the late 1960's, the 70's and the 80's. And listening to to his
favourite music was his therapy while he was in isolation.
Another
technique also helped. One day a nurse said to Keith he looked miles
away. He replied, “I am. I am parked up in a lay-by in Scotland in
my lorry. I'm looking right down the Glen – it's beautiful.” So
Keith had the ability to dissociate himself from his immediate
surroundings and transport himself to somewhere more appealing.
Keith
told me he was fortunate as he never lost his appetite, which was a
great help. He was talking about food of course. But actually I could
see that he never lost his appetite for life. That seemed to be his
chief driver and motivation, the thing that meant that he kept his
humour and positivity in a difficult situation. Everything
constructive and helpful that he did seemed to flow from this.
Keith's positivity, energy and humour was not only of use to himself as it always improved the moral of the wards he was on. One doctor told Keith, “If we could find out how you keep your positive attitude we could bottle it.” Keith told me about advising and cheering up one particular patient. The patient's daughter told Keith, “If I had a million pounds I'd give it to you Keith because of the way you have helped Dad. You have perked him up a hell of a lot.”
As Keith explained to another patient, “Nobody likes being diagnosed with cancer. But it's not all doom and gloom.” In fact Keith found some useful aspects of his situation. It gave him a greater appreciation of the simple things in life. Like going to the toilet without having to drag a drip stand behind him. Or at the end of isolation being able to go outside the hospital to a stall to buy some fruit and breathe in the fresh air.
Keith
is now thankfully in remission and getting on with living his life.
He still has regular treatment though, which was part of his
treatment plan.
Not
all cancers are treatable of course. But according to Cancer
Research UK survival rates in the UK have doubled in the last 40
years. And the understanding and treatment of cancer is improving all
the time.
I
asked Keith what his advice would be to anyone who finds themselves
in similar circumstances: “Set yourself a goal, get your family
involved and communicate with the doctors and the people treating
you. And remember there is light at the end of the tunnel.”
©
Dominic Horton, 2018.
*
Lowlife
is dedicated to the memory of the late Jonathan Rendall
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